


Fights after fights (priorities and truths)

by Idjit_01



Series: Multifandom febuwhump bc January sucked [8]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: "I didn't mean it, Day 13, Day 14, FebuWhump2021, Febuwhump, Hiding Injury, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Whump, Worried Magnus Bane, maybe a tiny bit of comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29511984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idjit_01/pseuds/Idjit_01
Summary: Prompts days #13: hiding injury and #14: "I didn't mean it".As the floorboards creaked beneath him Alec winced trying to get the door closed before he made any more noise.Not that it was of any use. He knew Magnus would have felt his presence as soon as he passed his magical barriers and if he wasn't deep asleep he'd want to talk about it.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Multifandom febuwhump bc January sucked [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140680
Comments: 2
Kudos: 76
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	Fights after fights (priorities and truths)

As the floorboards creaked beneath him Alec winced trying to get the door closed before he made any more noise.

Not that it was of any use. He knew Magnus would have felt his presence as soon as he passed his magical barriers and if he wasn't deep asleep he'd want to talk about it.

Alec turned around slowly. He grimaced at the view of the table set for a beautiful dinner for too. Alec had been feeling guilty all evening, because today was supposed to be date night.

Alec had previously cleared the afternoon precisely for this, so they could have some alone time and their relationship wouldn't eventually crumble in their hands at the lack of time they spent together.

But then Jace had come to him with some story about Clary and Valentine and he had blindly followed him, every step heavier and heavier in the search of something they didn't even find.

Alec looked up from the table and saw the light under the door of their room. He wondered whether he should just sleep on the sofa tonight, but eventually convinced himself he was being ridiculous and should just go to bed. Magnus wouldn't sleep otherwise and he didn't want him to waste anymore of his own sanity on him.

He took his shoes and jacket off and quickly washed his teeth and used the bathroom as he stalled. When he finally opened the door, Magnus didn't look up from his book. He had bags under his eyes and Chairman Meow was sitting on his Alec's side of the bed, slowly falling asleep there.

Alec stood with him hands behind him for a few minutes, waiting for Magnus to do or say something, but the storm didn't come.

"I'm sorry," Alec mumbled when the silence got too loud for him. "I'm sorry, Mags," he repeated louder after, when Magnus still didn't spare him a glance.

"Me too," answered Magnus once Alec started to move away. Alec froze as his heart dropped to his stomach. Magnus sounded so disappointed, so resigned. "Are you okay?" He added as an afterthought.

"Yeah," he quickly answered, too quickly. "And I really didn't want to, I swear. It was just Jace, he-"

"I don't care," interrupted Magnus with a sigh. " _Alec_ , we've talked about this."

Alec flinched. Magnus never called him by his nickname.

"I know and I'm really sorry, but I can't control-"

"No," Magnus finally closed the book and left it on the bedside table. He looked up with eyes flickering between real and human and Alec instinctively curled in on himself. "But you can call me when you're going to be late, and you can make time for us. Alexander, you aren't the only shadowhunter available. You can delegate to someone else."

Alec passed a hand through his face and groaned, guilty and embarrassed and terribly disappointed in himself as well. " _I know_ ," he whispered. Eyes on anything but Magnus, Alec stepped forward and looked up. "Magnus, I'm so sorry. It won't happen again."

Magnus sighed. He mumbled something and motioned  
Alec to get closer to him.

"It's late," he said, kindly. "We can talk in the morning."

He gave Alec a quick peck on the lips and brought Chairman Meow towards himself carefully so he wouldn't wake up and Alec could get into his side of the bed.

Alec sighed in relief and allowed a small smile to form on his lips. As he sat, though, he hissed in pain and grimaced.

Magnus furrowed his brows and squinted at Alec.

"Are you hurt, my love?"

Alec breathes out slowly as he tried to get comfortable. "It's nothing."

Magnus sat up as Alec shifted and hissed again.

"Let me see."

"No, Mags. I'm fine."

"I don't believe you."

Alec moved closer to the edge of the bed, a leg out, as Magnus leaned towards him.

"Magnus, I swear, it's nothing. I just scraped my side." He lied.

In reality, a few of the members of the Circle had ambushed them in their fruitless search and had put up more than a bit of a fight. His side was prove of that. But he had blown Magnus off for nothing, so he didn't deserve to be healed. If it got really bad, he'd apply an Iratze and that would be it.

Magnus clenched his fists and his jaw and squinted his eyes further. He took a deep breath and when he opened his eyes again, cat eyes were staring into Alec.  
"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Mumbled Alec as he looked away.

"Then, please, let me help. Alexander, I won't cure you if you don't want to. I just need to assess the damage."

Alec blinked and shook his head stubbornly. He didn't want Magnus _to see_. That would be almost worse than not showing up when promised, _as he had already done_.

" _Goddamnit, Alexander_ ," Magnus cursed under his breath.

Alec stood up, anger growing swiftly in him. Yeah, he hadn't make good of his promise of making enough time. But he had come home anyways. And Magnus knew how it was, he knew the job and who he got with when they got together. And Magnus wasn't a saint either.

"You knew who I was when we started dating, you knew what you were in for. You don't get to ask more of me now. If you're going to be so needy, maybe you should go back to Camille." Alec snapped, poison flowing out of him like water. As soon as he said the words though, his eyes widened and he stepped back, regret and sorrow substituting the anger and poison immediately.

"Yeah, well, maybe I didn't expect you to keep being Jack's suicidal lapdog." Magnus retorted back, hurt, and Alec froze again as anger and sadness and frustration overcame him again.

"I'm going back to the Institute," he announced. Then he mocked coldly Magnus earlier words, " _We can talk in the morning_."

Alec took his clothes without looking back and slammed the front door as he speed-walled back to the Institute.

In his walk to his 'old home', because, sincerely, he hadn't slept there in a long time, his phone ringed numerous times. He silenced it, but it kept flashing Magnus's name and he couldn't put the phone away.

He was just too mad and he had a knot in his throat, so he didn't want to take the call and either cry or make everything worse.

When he got to the door of the Institute, Alec hesitated. He didn't want to sleep or see anyone. He was too much in pain for that. So he turned around and jumped onto the nearest low roof, climbing and jumping stealthily onto the furthest place he could find.

He settled on a roof with nothing special that would make him remember it, and took his phone out.

After a few seconds of staring at it without really seeing anything, he entered the password and played the voicemail.

Before the first one could sound, though, he took his arrows and bow out and started shooting into the night, the scraping of them on him dry hands and the pulsing on his side making him feel alive.

" _I-I'm really sorry Alexander._ " The first voicemail started. " _I shouldn't have pushed so hard. I just... I- I worry about you. I don't want you to hurt. Just- come home?_ "

" _Alexander? I just really hope you know I- **I didn't mean it**. We were both tired and irritated and not in our right Minds_."

" _I understand if you need time. But, please, just- tell me if you're okay? I _wish_ ," Magnus sighed on the voicemail," nevermind. I love you, okay? Be careful. My door's always open for you. _"

Alec's phone beeped and Alec turned his head just in time to see it die.

He threw it into the ground and relished in it's cracking sound. Guilty and overwhelmed, he took his bow and arrows again and shot until his hand were bleeding and his emotions were so drained they lulled him to sleep beneath the warmth of the rising sun.

**Author's Note:**

> My phone believes 'Iratzes' are misspelled oranges and that the word 'shadowhunters' doesn't exist.
> 
> So I tried, and hope it's not too OOC.
> 
> As always, I hope you had as much fun reading it as I writing it and I hope you take care of yourselves~
> 
> Remember, communication in relationships is key, so if you want to drop a comment don't feel afraid to.


End file.
